I find it hard to believe that two people can be intimate with each other without becoming attached. And if they can… is that really something to celebrate?
“LET’S just… go with the wind.â€
This was response I recently received following a ‘talk’ regarding exclusivity with a girl I had been on a number of dates with. To say that I found her response disconcerting (and not just due to the meteorological reference), would be acccurate.
The weeks leading up to that particular conversation had consisted of daily Facebook messages in which we had expressed a mutual liking for one another, coupled (oh the irony of that word) with hours spent hanging out. So what had gone wrong?
Initially, I viewed her response as a massive red flag. After all, I quite liked this girl and wasn’t too keen on the idea of some airy fairy ‘relationship lite’ scenario that could leave me open to getting hurt. However, before I made any decision on the matter, a friend’s advice stopped me in my tracks. “Maybe im just a cynic, but that seems like more than what most are offering. I’d say go for it.â€
At first, I dismissed his claim that her suggestion was ‘more than what most’ were bringing to the table. Surely an offer of exclusivity was not that rare of an occurrence as to habbo warrant such a vague and casual offer so appealing?
What’s the draw of ‘casual dating’?
Having since spoken to friends and classmates on the topic, I have been surprised to discover that many find such casual arrangements quite liberating, listing freedom to experiment and the lack of ‘stress’ associated with having to consider another person’s feelings as the main benefits. However others, while expressing their ease in regard to dating multiple partners, have been more conservative in their views when it comes to having sex, regarding this as a no-no until exclusivity has been established.
